Carry On Communities
Act 2 : The Court of the Red Tar
Draft 1.

Simon Hobbit and Boris Cat have obtained access to the underworld via an entrance at Junction 6 of the M5, the key to which Boris obtained from a local dryad, or tree spirit. Boris updates his friend on some important matters as the two descend toward The Court of the Red Tar. He explains that the Red Tar was formerly known as John Prescott, a long standing and well-regarded Labour MP until he was enchanted by the wicked Blair Wizard. The wicked wizard then made Mr Prescott Deputy Prime Minister, second-in-command only to himself (after he had also cast a spell on most other Labour MPs) and the Big Clunking Fist. However, the Big Clunking Fist later overthrew the wicked Blair Wizard, although the latter soon found other troublesome roles to play on the world stage, and nearer home.

"Unfortunately", said Boris, "Mr Prescott is still under the wicked Blair Wizard's spell, and, if anything, his condition and that of his ministerial colleagues and advisers, has become worse in recent years, as you will soon see. Mr Prescott, at onetime a ship's steward, likes to be known as the Red Tar (you may recall a literary account of Stalin called "The Court of the Red Tsar") and the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister - or ODPM as I shall it - has been recast as "The Court of the Red Tar". More recently, he has asked to be called "Sultan", and "Sinbad" by close associates, and has taken to thinking of his colleagues, most of whom are female, as an extended harem. Members of this "harem", like the heroine in the story of the "Arabian Nights", are forced to come up with continual daft policy ideas if they wish to retain their positions, which "Sinbad" then assigns to a sort of under-ministry, called the Department of Daft Ideas (or DoDI). Even the Big Clunking Fist is outraged by the behaviour of Mr Prescott and has therefore banished him to offices in the underworld, which we are about to visit."

"However," Boris continued, "We bring with us the antidote to this parlous state of affairs. The Witch of Worcester has prepared a potion which we must place in the food and drink of "Sultan Sinbad" and his colleagues. This effect of this potion will be to remove the dire enchantment of the Blair wizard over Mr Prescott and return his senses and those of the others to something resembling a normal state".

With these words, Boris Cat and Simon Hobbit arrived at the underworld offices of the ODPM. Outside, were various statues of the Mighty Deputy Leader (or Mighty Deputy as he preferred to called). From within, came the sound of louf music and raised voices. The two friends hoped very much to catch this dragon's den off its guard. Boris had a few more words for his friend :
"This is an extremely powerful potion that we bring. Not only will it transform the consciousness of those who consume it. In doing this, it will also start to bring about a profound transformation for the better in everyday reality. However, this will not be without its own challenges. Therefore, once we have administered the potion, we must make haste back to the city streets, and seek further audience with the Witch of Worcester, who will reveal to us the next stage of our perilous project."

Simon Hobbit was borne forward by his friends words. The two entered the dark and noisy chamber which accommodated the Court of the Red Tar. A massive banquet awaited Sultan Sinbad and his colleagues, and to this the powerful potion was administered.

As Simon and Boris retraced their steps back towards the exit from the underworld, they both sensed that their mission had been successful. "The Court of the Red Tar" was almost certainly now asleep, and would ultimately awake free from the enchantment of the Blair Wizard.

Meanwhile, at Junction 6 of the M5 a miraculous transformation seemed to have taken place. The traffic chaos which so epitomised the rule of the Big Clunking Fist appeared to have subsided. Drivers seemed to be observing traffic regulations as never before. No one was driving above the speed limit. Moreover, there were fewer vehicles on the road as people used the opportunity of a safer and pleasant environment to travel by foot, bicycle and much improved bus services. The jaws of Simon and Boris dropped in awe and gratitude at the prospect of far fewer road traffic accidents to people and other animals. Nearby, the trees and their spirits were all celebrating and singing : "Things can only get better !". This was indeed a time of great joy, celebation and good will to all !.

To be continued @ www.jan8stone.blogspot.com on 21.12.2006