Gordon Brown, Big Brother & The Wicker Man

I felt that Gordon Brown's reference to Jade Goody and Big Brother at the Fabian Society conference last weekend was inauspicious, and so it has turned out. In my E-Pantomime , "Carry On Communities" (for full version see my blogs), the former Chancellor is expelled to to a remote Scottish Island. I now want to take this story a little further....

When Mr Brown arrived at the island, he found that the film director Ken Russell was remaking "The Wicker Man", and looking for someone to play the policeman who visits the island to investigate a mysterious disappearance. The rest of the cast seemed to consist of former members of Celebrity Big Brother, including Jade Goody.

Mr Brown was delighted to have the opportunity of starring in a major film production. "A new and unexpected career opportunity", he thought, "from which I might one day relaunch a career in politics". However, not being much of film buff he was unaware of the ultimate fate of the policeman.

Also unknown to him was that the Wicked Blair Wizard was once again on the scene, this time in the guise of "The Wicker Man" island Laird (played by the Prince of Darkess himself, Christopher Lee, in the first version of the film). Finally, and perhaps sadly for Mr Brown - or perhaps not - Jade Goody was to play the role of his seductress.